Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
