I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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