I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
