Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
