Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
