Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
