marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
