Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
