dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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