my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The air was thick with penises
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
