Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
