I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
