and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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