btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Im part way to drunk.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize