Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
