I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
