When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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