You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
