So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
