that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I wish you could order shots online.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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