this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
