Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
two words: eviction party
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
