just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
