Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
