the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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