Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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