herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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