Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
