If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
