We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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