About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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