it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
