guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
