what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you win again, gameday.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
