Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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