I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
