the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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