I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
