Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
