We named our party play list daddy issues
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
