I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
