Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
