Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
