is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
