my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wish you could order shots online.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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