no you cant smoke seaweed
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
