Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
