Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
