we have officially lost it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
