I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
