i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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