I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
